Nothing stirs up passions more than the controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child. A controversy is an issue where evidence on both sides can make a compelling case.
But co-parenting amicably with your ex can give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents they need. With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and resolve conflicts to make joint custody work and enable your kids to thrive.
Research suggests that the quality of the relationship between co-parents can also have a strong influence on the mental and emotional well-being of children, and the incidence of anxiety and depression. Of course, putting aside relationship issues, especially after an acrimonious split, to co-parent agreeably can be easier said than done.
Joint custody arrangements can be exhausting, infuriating, and fraught with stress. It can be extremely difficult to get past the painful history you may have with your ex and overcome built-up resentments.
Despite the many challenges, though, it is possible to develop an amicable working relationship with your ex for the sake of your children. Making co-parenting work The key to successful co-parenting is to separate the personal relationship with your ex from the co-parenting relationship.
It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one—one that is entirely about the well-being of your children, and not about either of you. Your marriage may be over, but your family is not; doing what is best for your kids is your most important priority.
The first step to being a mature, responsible co-parent is to always put your children's needs ahead of your own.
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Benefits for your children Through your co-parenting partnership, your kids should recognize that they are more important than the conflict that ended your marriage—and understand that your love for them will prevail despite changing circumstances.
Kids whose divorced parents have a cooperative relationship: When confident of the love of both parents, kids adjust more quickly and easily to divorce and new living situations, and have better self-esteem.
Better understand problem solving. Children who see their parents continuing to work together are more likely to learn how to effectively and peacefully solve problems themselves.
Have a healthy example to follow. By cooperating with the other parent, you are establishing a life pattern your children can carry into the future to build and maintain stronger relationships. Are mentally and emotionally healthier. Children exposed to conflict between co-parents are more likely to develop issues such as depression, anxiety, or ADHD.
Set hurt and anger aside Successful co-parenting means that your own emotions—any anger, resentment, or hurt—must take a back seat to the needs of your children.
Get your feelings out somewhere else. Never vent to your child. Friends, therapistsor even a loving pet can all make good listeners when you need to get negative feelings off your chest. Exercise can also be a healthy outlet for letting off steam.
If you feel angry or resentful, try to remember why you need to act with purpose and grace: If your anger feels overwhelming, looking at a photograph of your child may help you calm down. Don't put your children in the middle You may never completely lose all of your resentment or bitterness about your break up, but what you can do is compartmentalize those feelings and remind yourself that they are your issues, not your child's.
Resolve to keep your issues with your ex away from your children. Never use kids as messengers. When you use your children to convey messages to your co-parent, it puts them in the center of your conflict.
The goal is to keep your child out of your relationship issues, so call or email your ex directly.Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents Making Joint Custody Work After a Divorce or Separation. Co-parenting after a split is rarely easy, especially if you have a contentious relationship with your ex-partner.
My husband and I share joint custody of my daughter who is 16 years old.
She has been continually psychology abused by her stepmother going as far as locking her out of their house for periods of time. After divorce, shared parenting is best for children’s health and development.
Co-Parenting Tips for Divorced Parents Making Joint Custody Work After a Divorce or Separation. Co-parenting after a split is rarely easy, especially if you have a .
I am curious to know whether in the co-sleeping debate how much attention has been paid to 1) the kinds of beds and sleeping environments that exist cross-culturally and 2) .
HypocriticalOath said. Also if more parents were like you maybe there would be fewer Newtown and Columbine massacres. Those parents were totally 'baffled' by their kids actions (well not Newtown as the mother died) but hello - you gotta be on top of this stuff.